The fuss in China

People may wonder what the fuss is with China.

It may have to do with the Olypmics.

Or that they're the fastest growing economy in the world.

But let's face facts.

A sale in China is A SALE IN CHINA.
*it reads (more or less): formerly 98 Yuan, now only 9 Yuan.

Words: Then and Now

The word is "vampire".

So...

Vlad the Impaler, Prince of Wallachia and Scourge of the Turks, of "Dracula"?

Or Brad the "Impaler", prince of lonely goth girls, of every post-Anne Rice vampire novel?

On Hotels in China

Previously, I posted about lotions. Well... I took a second look at the... um... stash of random paraphernalia that was stocked on the bedside table, and I found...

Something that contains some mystery item.

I have no idea what this is called (or what it contains), but I can pretty much guess it ain't child-safe. Or work-safe.

Notable here is the phrase: "...it avoids pregnancy..."

What does that mean? For every Bob and Larry out there (I forgot the saying), it might mean that no woman's gonna get pregnant using the sex ring.

Yes. It's apparently a sex ring.

(If you don't know it by now, go back up and read the text on the box.)

And apparently, IT won't get pregnant. Your woman, however, probably will.

Good thing that just outside your hotel, there's.....

These people will make it a point to keep you away from Medicine that lies. There seems to be no subsections on lying doctors, however. So maybe it might be better if you just don't use the sex ring or the medicine... or better yet, throw it away so nobody ever does.

So you go to the garbage can...

But you never quite find out where to throw it, because...

Is the sex ring / condom a recycled item? If so... shit. If not.. you're still not gonna be able to throw it away. You could, maybe... throw yourself away. Or the woman. But not the sex ring.

So I guess you're stuck with it.

Ah, the Olympics...

All that athleticism in the Olympics has a tendency to leave its audience with muscle cramps gotten from all the hassle of just trying to get to the events.

Good thing there are items in any typical hotel room that should help.

Like the Man Lotion. But let's not be sexist, here.

Hence, the Woman Lotion.

Now that we have our lotion, we can squeeze them out of their unusual plastic packaging and get right down to....

Oh. Dear me.

...this... may not be the lotion that grocery stores pack....
Somebody dropped the ball on this one.


But that's not the only thing that person dropped.


Did you ever wonder why only McDonald's was the only food sponsor in the Olympics?

















Apparently, McDonald's didn't have much of a logistics problem.

If Horatio Caine Had to Fight Fire...

Here's what he would use...

It (Should Have Won) An Emmy

So there I was, enjoying a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching TV, watching a replay of the world's most popular program (according to a 2006 article reported by the BBC), CSI: Miami. (Quick aside: As you can deduce from this post and a previous one, this blog has a... "thing" for CSI: Miami. More about this in the future.) During the commercial break, the network trumpeted its lineup of shows that received nominations for the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards. Then came CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and CSI: NY, nominated for a couple of technical awards. And there I was thinking that CSI: Miami was coming up next, but it's name didn't come up. One of the first thoughts that came to my mind was complete and utter surprise. After all, to paraphrase Ricky Bobby, that show won an Emmy. For what, you ask me? For Best TV Show Ever Made, that's what. (For more Will Ferrell gems, click here.) The second thought was about whether the extra pancakes we had for breakfast were still good to eat. But all thoughts of hunger were swept from my mind by the egregious ("Egregious!" echoed Captain Jack Sparrow) snub by the Academy for Television Arts and Sciences. Not even one nomination for CSI: Miami this year. Hopefully, they realize the error of their ways next year and give the show its proper due. Or else, Miami justice will take its course.

And if you're curious, the episode I was watching featured a near-abduction of a child by a pedophile, sorry, Man-boy love, umm, advocate(?) And because we're big fans of promoting ourselves, I hope you enjoy this rant on NAMbLA. (Yes, the segue was weak and tenuous, but we love promoting ourselves, so there.)

Brainfarts from Hell

an abridged version of a longer YM conference

Ronald Cimafranca: The Bat-Sheba!
bok_gil: hahaaha!
bok_gil: the bat-sheba...
weretiger55: lol!
Ronald Cimafranca: Sheba was a queen of Ethiopia who saw her parents killed before her eyes after a royal ceremony.
Angelo gian De Mesa: hahaha
Ronald Cimafranca: She fell into a cave and was inspired by the bat to strike fear on evildoers.
Ronald Cimafranca: Archaeologists uncovered her chariot. Very cool, automatic spear-thrower, all that shit.

To Potential New Contributors...

Welcome to our little game...

[From left to right: Joao, Jonathan and Cima]

Hope you brought your own heat.

Oh, and we really like our Poker too.

And for some snotty, boys' club reason...

No blondes allowed...

So put the blonde down.

Thought For The Week

You can pick your friends.

You can pick your nose.

But you can't pick your friend's nose.

Geek: Is It In You?

Are you both insecure without your 20-sided dice AND hardcore?

Do you not care for feminine company at all? (or masculine, if a femi-geek)

Are you immune to the three words "what" "the" and "fuck"?

If the answer to all these questions is a high and shrilly "YES!!" (in all alien / quasi-mythological languages), then head on over here and grow yourself some elf ears.

Geek: When Real Life and D&D Collide, Something Has to Give....

Welcome!

The first, and hopefully, not the last post in this blog. Umm, more stuff to be posted in the coming days.